Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin!

Selling out with the veep nominee.

Mike Duck: So, for this week’s politically-themed Snackable, I wanted to write something about Sarah Palin.

Stacey Duck: Ah. Great.

M: But the problem is that I can’t think of anything interesting to write.

S: Really?! You can’t think of anything at all that’s interesting about Sarah Palin? Who’s basically a big giant fraud wrapped up in $150,000 worth of clothing?

M: Well, you might want to … What do you mean by “fraud,” exactly?

S: Well, let’s see. She presents herself as this honest, hard-working middle-class woman overcoming corruption in government — yet, now investigation after investigation has shown that she herself is incredibly corrupt! In government!

She was found to have misused her powers as governor in the Troopergate thing. She was found to have spent more than $20,000 of the State of Alaska’s money ferrying her family around to events that her children did not need to be at. And then she also has now spent one hundred and fifty THOUSAND dollars — which is more than my house costs — of the Republican National Committee’s money, for clothing.

M: Well, in fairness …

S: For clothing!

M: … the Republican National Committee chose to spend that money on her.

S: For CLOTHING! That doesn’t even fit her correctly! Like that ugly red jacket that, as someone said, looks like it’s Michael Jackson’s. It’s too big! It doesn’t even fit her! Ridiculous.

M: Anyway, what I meant to say was that I can’t think of anything to say that nobody else has said yet.

S: Ahhh. Right.

M: I was looking to say something about how she presents a very different concept of feminism — that she’s, in some sense, claiming the mantle of feminism while also advocating positions that are strongly against what the traditional feminist movement has fought for.

And then there are her new ideas — or maybe just different ideas — about what it means to be an attractive woman in office. While it seems like most women who have been politically successful have played down their sexuality, Sarah Palin is obviously going a different route.

But, again, I’m not even the first person to make those arguments. So, I don’t really have anything else to go on.

S: I think she’s the example of the worst kind of feminism, really. She’s a candidate basically because of affirmative action — she’s not qualified to be where she is. Now, if this were 10 years from now? Or eight years from now? If she had more experience as governor or maybe had run for a Senate seat, maybe she would’ve been qualified. But she’s not right now.

M: I also have to admit that part of the reason I wanted to write something about Sarah Palin is because she has become far and away one of the most-searched individuals on the Internet. And news sites, all sorts of mainstream news sites, have seen their Web traffic jump tremendously since she’s been out there as a vice presidential candidate.

S: It’s because she’s a curiosity — like the bearded lady at the circus.

M: So, why can’t I tap some of that mojo and bring people to Crunchable?

S: Sure! I totally think you should sell out like that.

M: The problem is that when I’ve done things like this before — like when I wrote about Wikipedia — it didn’t affect the traffic at all.

S: Hm. Well, maybe you’ve got to do some search-bot magic or something to help with that. I can’t help you on that end. I can just say horrible things about Sarah Palin.

She scares the crap out of me. As a woman, she scares me.

M: Well, maybe that’s enough.

Article © 2008 by Michael Duck