Best Costume Ever

Nostalgia plus snarkiness equals Halloween hilarity.

  • Start with a Halloween celebration in a presidential election year.
  • Blend with an off-kilter sense of humor and unrepentant snarkiness that can exist only in a 16-year-old.
  • Add a plastic, store-bought He-Man costume, bought and first worn 11 years earlier. Make sure it consists of a flimsy mask and a thin bodysuit printed with gigantic muscles, trademark He-Man chestplate and furry briefs.
  • Mix with enough ingenuity to figure out how to cram a teenager’s body into a costume made for a kindergartener. (Hint: It involves wearing the bodysuit like a shirt.)
  • Add a cheap, black sportjacket and dark pants.
  • Garnish with a giant homemade sign that reads, “HE-MAN FOR PRESIDENT!”
  • Wear in public.


  • (Optional final step: Discover years later that all photographic evidence is conveniently unavailable.)
Article © 2007 by Michael Duck