Building a Batcave

Bruce Wayne made this look a lot easier.

High-tech gadgets: check. Cave-like atmosphere: check. Adequate lighting, electrical outlets, and shelf space: not so much.

I’ve been working on my new subterranean lair for months, ever since I learned I was getting kicked out of my home office. When my wife gives birth to our second child this spring, we’ll need that space for our firstborn‘s bedroom.

Which means I’m moving to the basement — a dank, cold space surrounded by my 90-year-old house’s stone foundation.

My wife, bless her, has helped me convince myself that I’m willingly giving up my beloved office space so that I can create a kick-ass underground hideout for doing superheroic things like balancing our checkbook. Batman has the Batcave; Mike Duck shall have the Duckcave!

As I bought into the idea, the concept kept getting better and better: I would add extra voice and data cables. I would set up a powerful sound system and connect it to two computers. Hell, I’d even hook up a TV.

Progress has been slow, however. It took weeks just to make space for my basement lair, rearranging shelves stacked with unused cookie cutters, broken CD players and fancy wine glasses that we’ve never taken out of their box. It took even more weeks to build a plywood partition to hide our sewage pipe. I still need to run yards and yards of wire, install new lighting, and redo all of the electrical outlets.

If I keep up this pace, my Duckphone, Duckchair, Duck-pencil-sharpener, and Duck-paper-clip-bin should all be in functional in another month or so. But before I get around to installing that secret entrance through a trapdoor in the front porch, I’m gonna need a few more trips to the hardware store.

Article © 2007 by Michael Duck