The Anticipation of Crunch

Getting the invite to the big kids’ table.

This is the second of four Snackable essays coinciding with Crunchable’s fifth anniversary.

I waited months for Chris Klimas to say I could join Crunchable.

It wasn’t anything personal. (Or at least, I assume it wasn’t — maybe we still had some unresolved issues from our days as roommates?) No, it was mostly because Crunchable started out with an unwritten rule that it was just for college graduates, and Chris was a year ahead of me.

The logic was that those of us still in college still could get our work published fairly easily in on-campus publications, a luxury the graduates lacked. Plus, it made a nifty rite of passage: graduate from school, move out into the real world, and start writing for a little Web ’zine that pays nothing.

Still, I always perceived the Crunchable staff as the “cool crowd” I wanted to join: great young authors who wrote searing or funny or heartwrenching personal essays and got them on the Web for everyone to see. I was thrilled when Chris finally gave me the nod in the summer of 2002, a month or so after I had graduated and gotten married.

All I still needed was a topic, and since Chris had once written a short story about “monkeys on Venus,” I just knew he’d have some extremely creative suggestion. Maybe something about “The Beauty of Time or “Interstellar Aardvarks,” I thought.

Instead, he sent me this in an e-mail:

A cool idea offhand to me would something [like] "5 Weird Things About Being Married That You'd Never Guess From The Outside", only with a shorter title. But that's just a random suggestion -- you *would* be the first married Crunchable staffer if you did write something, so that's where my thoughts wandered. But other ideas you might have would be equally welcome, too.

In retrospect, I probably should have gone with the aardvarks. Instead, I wrote a semi-whiny, not-very-well-formed article about how tired I was of people asking me what it was like to be married.

But at least it was a start: I was finally a Crunchable author.

And, hey, there’s still time to write about aardvarks.

Article © 2006 by Michael Duck