The Extradimensional Parking Garage

Urban engineering, meet quantum physics.

I park my car every morning on a Möbius strip.

I’m not quite sure how the Bethlehem Parking Authority did it, but somehow they’ve constructed a garage that completely bypasses Newtonian physics in favor of some Quantum Theory of Parking.

The first floor leads directly to the third floor. The fourth floor leads to directly to the second, but not vice versa. The third floor is eight flights of stairs from the street … and so is the fourth floor. Drivers who aren’t careful can end up in dozens of spaces that aren’t even on a floor.

Clearly, these parking engineers are frighteningly proficient physicists. What’s next? String Theory Spaces that exist in 11 dimensions, letting someone cram a Hummer into a subcompact’s space? Einsteinian Parking Meters that warp space-time to make two hours on the meter pass in 15 minutes? Or, um …

Crud. I’m gonna need a lot more quarters.

Article © 2006 by Michael Duck