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height: 18 apples high
alignment: chaotic neutral
hero: Ray Bradbury, and anyone who can bluff his way through a 7/3 off-suit and survive
fatal weaknesses: good stories and bad movies
taking aim at: the kneecap of the world

Stories Steve wrote:

• Hypothetical Future Baby  (snackable) — May 26, 2008
• Home  (snackable) — April 28, 2008
• Knight Time  (snackable) — March 17, 2008
• Farewell to the Dungeon Master — March 17, 2008
• On the Road with Olivia  (snackable) — February 25, 2008
• An Open Letter to Mr. Billick  (snackable) — January 28, 2008
• A Better Answer — January 21, 2008
• Happy Stupid New Year  (snackable) — December 31, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: Meat is Murder. Tasty, Tasty Murder. — September 10, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: Jesus Loses Bet To Elvis, Best Newspaper Ever To Fold — August 20, 2007
• Hotel Horrors  (snackable) — July 9, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: Define “Young” — July 9, 2007
• Happy 30th Birthday, Chewie!  (snackable) — June 18, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: Sequels are Idiot Bait — June 11, 2007
• Death by Hay Fever  (snackable) — June 4, 2007
• Dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark?  (snackable) — May 28, 2007
• All Apologies — May 28, 2007
• Jesus, Meet Jerry  (snackable) — May 21, 2007
• Close Encounters  (snackable) — May 7, 2007
• Pour Down — April 9, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: My Guide to Life — March 12, 2007
• A Family of Heartbreakers — February 12, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: Homogenization Nation — January 8, 2007
• Riding Shotgun: The Tree from Hell — December 11, 2006
• The Same-old Wonderful Same-old  (snackable) — December 4, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: Two Funnybooks and the War on Terror — November 13, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: Lost Time, Lost Lives — September 25, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: Kill All Astronomers — August 28, 2006
• Step Right Up!  (snackable) — July 31, 2006
• Packing is Hell  (snackable) — July 10, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: Watch Your Language — July 10, 2006
• July 4  (snackable) — July 3, 2006
• Evidence of Evolution — June 26, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: Goin’ to the Chapel, pt. 3 — The Land of All Grown Up — May 22, 2006
• Curse of the Redheaded Progeny  (snackable) — May 15, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: That Thing of Doing Bad Art Zenly — April 25, 2006
• Where the Hell is Spring?!  (snackable) — March 27, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: US vs. THEM — March 27, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Dog-Boy — February 27, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: Goin’ to the Chapel pt. 2, Wherein I Channel Ann Landers — January 23, 2006
• Riding Shotgun: A Gift of Flesh — December 18, 2005
• Dear Santa — November 30, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: Goin’ to the Chapel, pt. 1 — October 25, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: Between the Womb and the World — September 20, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: How We Learned to Love the Lightsaber — May 23, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: columbinus — Was adolescence ever quite like this? — April 25, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: We All Gonna Die! — April 11, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: Funny Books, the Return — March 14, 2005
• Doc’s dead and I have no words  (snackable) — February 22, 2005
• They took away my music  (snackable) — January 12, 2005
• Riding Shotgun: Democracy — Let’s Not Fuck It Up This Time — November 1, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: Two Johns, a Jackass, and Why Honors English Teachers Should Review All Campaign Speeches — August 2, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: Cancer vs. Cool, Refreshing Flavor — June 14, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: This is what Democracy looks like — May 3, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: A children’s rhyme for a new America — April 19, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: Everyone into the Handbasket, Part II — March 1, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: Everyone into the Handbasket, Part I — February 2, 2004
• Riding Shotgun: An Open Letter to the Wachowski Bros. — November 17, 2003
• Autumn Stories — October 13, 2003
• Riding Shotgun: What I Did on my Summer Vacation — September 8, 2003
• Riding Shotgun: From There to Here and the Shit in Between — June 16, 2003
• Riding Shotgun: Funny Books in Film — March 31, 2003
• Riding Shotgun: War of Words — March 10, 2003
• Riding Shotgun: Where’s my Motherfucking Jet Pack? — January 20, 2003
• Samhain — October 28, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: Women — October 12, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: Read or Die — September 28, 2002
• Think Back — August 14, 2002
• Starving Artist — June 19, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: Geek Nation (East Coast Chapter) — June 1, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: “Spider-Man” is Good Stuff — May 18, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: It’s the End of the World as We Know It — April 13, 2002
• Easter Confession — April 3, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: So Much More than Meets the Eye — March 23, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: Ronald Reagan, Junk Bonds, and Other Mindless Drivel We Used to Love — March 9, 2002
• Romance Apocalyptic — February 11, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: Funnybooks Part Two — January 26, 2002
• New Year’s Resolutions are Hell — January 19, 2002
• Riding Shotgun: Funnybooks in the Lexicon of American Culture — December 22, 2001
• Riding Shotgun: “Thirteen Ghosts” still isn’t any good — November 17, 2001